忘了我们吧...

夜已深了...

依然没听到敲门声

开了门走出去

看到他睡在外头楼梯口的一个沙发上

心里一阵寒酸

熟睡他没发现我的出现

我拖长了脚步声

终于他醒了...

看了看我...望边去了

终于我开口了

我：回去吧

他：你不用理我...我在这里就可以了...

我：为什么还要回来...

他：没东西做...

我：在那里不好吗？为什么要回来...

他：你别管我...我在这里就好...aiya,你不要唠叨...回到去那里他们也是唠叨不停...

我：问题是你在这里...人家怎样看我们...人家不知情的还以为我们“hak bok”你...

之后他就自言自语的走了...

他时不时就这样自言自语的...

他就是我爸...

本来打算给他进家...等明天给钱他回去...

可是他叫也不停地走了...

他有抹抹脸...

不懂是不是流泪...

看到这一幕的我...

能不难过吗？

不能怪我妈绝

因为...

我妈辛辛苦苦的养大了我和我姐...

也不能全怪我爸

至少他养了我出生那10年。。。

要怪就怪他承受不了生意失败的打击...

失败了不肯爬起来...

自从那次生意失败不再做工

人也开始自言自语

癫癫疯疯...

常幻想自己是皇上...

戏看太多吧...

如果你是我中学同学

也许你会明白

因为他们领教过

还好他们知道我的情况

尽量不提起这事情

每当提起我也只是保持沉默

因为...

我不知怎么回答他们...

回想起以前...

路边见到我爸

通常都是低头的擦肩而过...

可能是我爱面子吧

不肯在朋友面前承认面前这癫癫疯疯的人就是我爸

不知情的朋友会对我说：eh,你爸也~

我只能回答：恩...

他们说我绝情...

我只能默默接受是我绝...

因为我不想揭穿我爸丑陋的一面...

生意失败头那五年...

我看过我妈哭过很多次了...

一个人躲在房哭

曾经我家欠人家一年的屋租...

当年的我被逼出来社会工作...

帮补家庭...

终于挨过了我姐姐毕业出来工作了

终于松一口气

家里环境开始好转

妈妈找到新工作

薪水2千

几年前妈妈终于签纸离婚...

但是爸爸依然住在我家

他不肯走

也许不舍得吧

如果上帝给我一个愿望

我希望我拥有一瓶忘情水...

好让我给我爸爸喝

忘了我们吧...

也许这样就是最完美的结局吧...

故事的最后我还是流泪了...

END

看见我内心的自私...
无限的惭愧...
我的自私伤害了很多人
一次的伤害
不是道个歉就可以解决那么简单
有种伤害
是可以伤至人内心的最深处

你笑笑对我说
don worry...it will be fine =)
我心里有数...
你内心的感觉...

我很想挽回我所做错的一切...
但愿来得及...

昨晚的夜...
依旧下着雨...
雨哭了...
我也哭了...
仿佛雨在诉说我的眼泪无法补偿我的错...

我告诉雨滴说
放心...
我依然会欣赏每次的雨天
因为
我喜欢雨天
就算有一天...
不再下雨了
我依然会等待雨天的来临 =)

傻傻的走了出去...
让雨滴打在我身上
夜深了...
雨滴是如此的冰冷
我想用我的温暖
把雨滴暖和

曾经有人告诉我
雨滴可以掩饰自己的眼泪
的确没错...
第一次哭得那么沉默
因为这眼泪
不值得别人可怜...

自责是可以
但一下就好了
告诉自己需要做自己该做的事
自责不是解决办法
好好待人
下次不再犯

把你的心给我一点...
然后把我的心全部拿去 =)

EMO

夜已深了...
在网上流浪...
重复的看着ah ying的blog...
背景的歌...让人感觉悲伤...
涌出来的是无数的思念...

前几天又被拒绝了=)
说没有难过,是骗人的=)
我尝试用我的微笑,隐藏我内心的悲哀...

今天的雨...我很细心的看着天空...
飘落的雨...真的很细=)
一丝一丝的雨滴,落在我身上,化成无尽的沉默...
眼角泪光闪闪...分不清,是泪是雨...

看着朋友的幸福,自己也想拥有...
也许每个人都一样吧...
在爱情的路口等待...
等待有人来领取的那天...

【❤】

今天早上又呕了,牛奶呕完出来...好像连续3天都呕了...

感觉上就快到终点了【❤】

这暧昧的感觉还不错...可以保持下去~

总有一天我会牵着你的手...

从来没想过...我和你的距离会如此靠近,

再靠近一点点,就让你牵手【❤】

只要你点点头,我就跟你走【❤】

希望每一天,都是那么快乐【❤】

【❤】期待【❤】

我回来了...

终于...我回来了...

一眨眼,就这样过了三个月了...

发生的事太多了...

不知该从哪里开始说起...

我看还是之前发生的事情跳过好了.

昨天看到rainy的 facebook post "我，新不了情"...

猜想她还是想念前男友吧,也许那个字眼我不明白什么意思...

发觉我自己很矛盾...如果你问我为什么那么喜欢rainy...
我真的只是想要和她在一起...这个算是答案吗？
我想牵她的手,我想抱着她,我想对她好...我想亲口和她表白...

原来思念真的是会呼吸的痛...
知道她前男友应该还是喜欢着她吧...
心里有点不开心...
haiz...

看着rainy发给我的信息...看了又看...为什么呢,我不知道...
好想她...好想...真的好想念她...

我不喜欢写blog...因为...每次我都会写到流眼泪...还好不会有很多人看到...
今天到此吧...
END

一个不小心...就做了游泳社的秘书...无奈...

心情不是很好...

失败了...

别气馁...

把眼泪抹去...

爬起来...继续前进...

痛过...就好了...

下次可以做得更好...

有时候你无意的一句话...

会给别人造成很大的伤害...

明白已经是把伤害减到最低...

所以没有埋怨...

不再留恋... :)

是谎言...

自问...未够好...

所以把责怪推给了自己...

好想把时间停止...好让我可以做完功课...

改变...

我要进行适合我的改变...

每天的心情...

都不能预测...

有时晴天霹雷...

有时狂风大雨...

有事阴阴雨天...

就算放晴的那天...

也只不过是个错觉...

才发现...

我的心情...

已经许久也没放晴了...

因为你的世界...

都是雨天...

细细的雨滴提醒我...

要下雨了...

是时候避雨了...

因为...

雨天...

不属于我...

被隐藏的雨天

Finally...i'm back...

This few day...keep take a distance with she

Coz i wan test something...

I try to get close with her friend....
And try to see will she care or jelous...
And i get nothing...
And she less contact with me...
Is this jelous?
Or just nothing?

Try to get close with her friend...
And have a chance to talk with she...
Look like it didn't sucess...
Coz she miss understanding me...
I hear from someone...
She push me to her friend,
And keep teeling her friend that i'm fall in to her friend...
Is this an action to reject me by pushing me to other ppl?
I hate this most...

You don know how much i miss you by looking with the mentos;
You don know how much i disappointed when i look ur hand holding by other;
You don know how much i sad when you miss understanding me;
It's cant count by mathematics materia...
Cant you feel me?

Another raining day...
I didn't bring my umbrella again...
Just get wet...
The rain cant stop my feeling on you...
Just will make my feeling more miss you...
And you won't know...
Coz, you doesn't get in my heart to see it...

Are you confuse about my feeling on you?
Or you not sure that i'm just waiting for you?
Or you need me to do an announcement to prove that my heart is just for you?
Seriously, i'm not dare to do it...
Coz i scare...
I scare hurt...

I will wait...
Wait until you are single...
When the time is come...
I will do an action...
Just...not now...
Coz you are belong to other right now...
And i know you treasure your lover...
This make me hurt...
It's ok, i'm fine...
Coz i also treasure the friendship between us...

That day meet she in LRT...
It's a lucky day for me...
I'm happy...
Coz that's a nearest distance i have been with she...
Last few day...Masjid Jamek LRT station have renovation...
And it's blook the way that she will always pass by...
My mind...thinking of she...
Coz she only know walk that way to get into Putra station...
Worry about she...
Am i stupit?
Yes, i am.

Every time i ask why;
She will say "i don know"...
And my heart was saying :
"don worry, i'm always belong to your side, let's me help you"...

But...
The sound of my heart, cant hear by anyone...
My tear was fallen...
With my sadness.
It's started to raining again...
米修...

Depress...again and again...

沉默...
世界很静...
一点声音都没有...
欣赏我的人...
却不是我想要的人...

才发现我的朋友不是很多...
何谓朋友？
不会说...

最好还是我的干妹妹...
唯一一个知道我最多秘密的人...
因为...
她会听我把不开心的事情说完...

虽然有时候给她泼冷水...
虽然有时候会恨她...
虽然有时候会吵架...
虽然曾经伤害过她...
她...是我最好的交心友...

最近很少找干妹妹聊天了...
因为...
我不喜欢她男朋友...
谁叫他得罪我...
山羊座的人很大方的，不过当一讨厌一个人的时候...
就会彻底的讨厌...

没关系...
没人哭诉...
只好写blog咯~


心情很不好...
为什么？
开不了口...

郁闷...
不开心...
心情很干燥...
眼眶都快湿了...
男人...
不许哭...



很想念一个人...
通常这个时间她都不会出现在facebook...
想要她电话...
不知怎么开口...

再怎么努力...
也是不可能吧..
至少现在不是时候...
慢慢等吧...
真心和诚意...
是要时间来证明的...


看来我该把心情收拾收拾了...
不再哭泣了...



我想关闭自己几天...
这几天不会update blog了...

雨yY...

I'm miss you...
Will you?
Yes...You miss He.


End...

看不透的距离

假期换来的代价就是一堆功课...
基本来说都还蛮简单~

今天睡到太阳晒屁股才起身><
一起身~开电脑~
嘿嘿~
她上线了~
刚开始没找她，因为怕她不喜欢我打扰她...

后来看她在我facebook coment了，
才去打招呼~
嘿嘿~
当然是暗爽了下啦~
难得人家留言~

不过感觉和她有种距离...
距离...
不敢靠近太多...
哪怕我再靠近一步...
她会退后几十步...


看到她update blog了...
很留心的看了...

喜欢看她的blog...
因为...
可以知道她的生活多点...
她好像不是很开心...
看她好像和男朋友有点争吵...
心里不知道要什么心情好...
无奈...


看完了...按了"like"一下...
因为她很怕没有人留意她的blog...
至少...
我有留意...


没多久...她下线了...
留下我一个傻傻的按"F5"
哈哈！



今晚老板说带我去云顶...
还在考虑要不要去...
因为我都不大喜欢去赌场的...
不过天气那么热...
可能会去吹下风~

现在是5.25pm...
肚子好饿...
没有人打包给我吃.....
我又走不开，因为做工...
Haiz...

想不瘦都难...



End...

I'm just wan to be stronger...

早上醒来，迷迷糊糊就跑去做工了...
今天是个下雨天...小小的雨点,让我想起某人...
因为她的名字有点关系~
^-^rainxxxx /shh....

做工的地方真吵...
还好我带了功课来做...
一看第一题...
啊。。。我不会做 T-T
看回昨天的笔记...还是一头雾水 ><

我第一次那么用功读书...
不懂为什么=.=
因为如果我厉害的话，就可以有机会教他了~~嘿嘿
不过她数学还想比我还厉害><
放心，我将会比她更强...


用了几个小时终于做完了功课，虽然有些不会做...
至少我有做完~
嘿嘿~
大半天了,还是没看到她online...
不懂是不是和男朋友出街了><
Haiz...


那个电脑的"F5".....
我看今天给我按了上百次吧=.=
因为一直看有没有她的出现嘛=.=



其实今天很没灵感写blog的。。。
都没什么feel ><
Haiz...

最近才发现，原来想念的味道...
是带点酸味的...



End

怀念的老朋友

今天晚上去了补习~Maths T ^^
很久没看到那个老师了~
还是一样...应该是说他的开场白还是一样...

不过重点不是这个~嘿嘿~

下午上课的时候，看到她~
嘿嘿~开心~
他朋友竟然和我要mentos ><
可惜我今天没有买 T-T
因为上次给她，她不要有吃><
错失良机....aarrrr

在补习的时候看到她，
她和我打招呼内~~~
开心~~~
哈哈！
补习时候，我都专心听课，所以没有留意她~
嘿嘿~她还是一样上课戴眼镜~ cute ^^

放学的时候我还问她怎么回= =
原来朋友载~
还以为那个是她男朋友...
不过，事实是她真的有男朋友><


然后我就驾车回家了（本来打算载他回家的T-T）...


整体来说，今天是蛮开心的~
不过想到假期两个星期...
不能每天见到她...
有点失望内...

只能等到下个星期五了...


期待~

不能说的秘密

不知不觉，又快到假期了~
虽然说是假期，可是假期功课还是有= =
而且还是很多那种...
最惨就是computing...要做assignment...还要做research ><

今天在学校还蛮开心的^^
嘿嘿~好像第一次坐她前面呢~ 看
她拿那个桌子笨手笨脚的>< cute ^^
帮她弄了下桌子...嘿嘿~
想请她吃mentos >< 嘿嘿，她拒绝了~
DIET >< 安慰自己的借口 ~哈哈~ 放学回家~
开MSN... 看到她~ 和她聊了下~
给她发现了些秘密= =
就是mentos的照片= =
最惨就是coment她看到完...
还好装傻是个好办法~哈哈

今天她在LRT给人家kacao ><
有点替她感到不甘心>< 如果我在场一定骂那个人...
这么没品... 下次记得要小心...
人家会担心嘛~~ 哈哈~有点恶心><
好啦~就到这里~ 因为要温习功课~
Post点照片下~ 嘿嘿希望当事人不介意哦~

可爱的笨猪~
她很有艺术天分~哈哈~



END

Moody day for me

Today was so tired ><
Rush for my study and homework...
I'm happy to see she today ^^
She was late today
She said she didn't see me in class ^^
Haha~ That's sure~ coz she rabun mata~ wakaka~

After the class i run very fast = =
Don know why...

This few day...
My class friend was so lucky...
Coz everyday also got free mentos to eat = =
It's ok...

Today MUET class...
Haiz...
My english noob = =
Hate it...

Nothing more for today...
Coz i'm moody...
Why?
Hehe...

This few day...
Fall in love with one song ^^
By2-Don't go away
Love it so much ^^
Here is some lyrics


Looking through your eyes
There's nothing to hide
And you're no longer mine
How could I survive when you say goodbye
Why do bird still fly up hig?
Can't stop the tears from fallin
We used to be so fine
When you walked into my life
I tried to reach out for you just to be with you
My heart is breakin...

Mentos >< Mentos...Mentos... Haiz...

It's so amazing...today i drink milk!!

End

Can you feel me?

Today is monday...
what a lonely day for me...

Morning 6am...
I'm wake up from bed and prepair my study book.
Something feeling keep come out in my mind...
Will me meet she today?
Will me talk with she today?
Will me ?
All albout she...

How come she so fast can get in my heart somewhere...
It's imposible...
But...nothing is imposible...
I'm trying my best to get in she's heart...
But it's not so easy for me...
Coz me with she...
Maybe just a friend...
A normal friend...
Even we meet also...
Nothing speacial happen...

Morning 8am...
I reach college...
Step in college with expecting feeling...
Something feeling telling me...
Don't be so hopefull...you will disappointed if you fail...
Yea...I understand...
I'm fully understand...
Now i'm intrested on she...

Morning 11am
Finally...
I saw she classmade passby...
Going somewhere classes...
I can feel she...
She is coming to me step by step...
What should i do?
Acting like nothing happen?
Say Hi?
How to start my first step?
Actually i know she is coming...
At last...
She passby my side...
The moment she passby...
I'm hold my breathe...
I can feel my heart...
Something is going wrong...
Looking into his eyesight...
My mouth was opened...
But...nothing is come out with my mouth...
Why?

Looking his shadow...
Until disapper...
My heart was calling you...
And i know...
You wont know it...

Sigh...
I no dare for get mroe close with her...
Coz i scare hurt...
I'm a loser in this game of love...
And i'm scare...
Try to hide myself in darkness...
Don't worry...
Lonely beside me...

I really don know what your feeling...
You are so strange for me...
Coz i cant catch your mind...



Can you feel me??

Just...another day for me...
Dont be so hopefull...
The more you hope,the more disappointed you will be...if you fail...

磁性般的吸引力...

怎么她的一举一动都那么吸引我...
刚才看她post blog在facebook...
结果跑去看了==

每个字都很留心的去看了下...
重点...看到她写某人...
可是不知道是谁...
如果是我就开心死咯~哈哈~
“U are already enough attractive for HIM”。。。
都不知道该怎么办好...
好乱...
我可不想那么快就给人看穿底牌...
还是先做朋友吧~（心想：有哪个情侣不是朋友开始的~）
又告一段落了...
End...

郁闷的星期日

今天睡觉睡到4点才起身= =
起身原因都是给电话吵醒...012-xxx6661...认识的人都知道是谁电话吧...
本来想在家温习功课...结果给叫去做工了。

最近脑里一直想着mentos... sot sot dei liao...
昨天和干妹妹聊了下电话...
和她聊心事,结果给她泼了一面冷水...kns she><
不过至少有个人陪我聊天就好了...

起身第一件事，去收拾书包...看了时间表...失望了下...
因为明天没有join class!!
haiz...看不到某人了~哈哈！

加油吧~对自己说~
买了几个mentos ^^嘿嘿~
对着mentos...散发出种思念...
Yea...I'm miss you...

Wow...学院生活终于开始了~

到今天为止应该开学两星期了~
认识了一班读书仔，还蛮开心的~还有个美女~hohoho~

college里面的人都好像学问很高的>< 感觉和我很不搭配...谁叫我样那么lalazai = =
嘿嘿~第一天进college就看上一个同课程的女生~kawaii~很想认识她，可是还是不敢主动...

终于有一天不小心认识到她朋友(Joanne) 就这样问了她facebook然后在从她facebook里面一个一个赵...
一按她friend list...天啊...有上千个好友...真的找死我！
找了半天终于找到~ 嘿嘿看到她英文名~

add了她后，她很少理我。。。可能不熟的关系吧...
心情点点的不开心...
嘿嘿~没关系~慢慢来~
从她口中知道她喜欢吃mentos >< 以后我会常常带mentos在书包~哈哈！
可惜不是每天都可以和她同班...haiz...
遇到她，可能是我的新开始吧，虽然我没什么把握...因为我要专心读书。
我说过我要拿4A!

问她怎么上学，她说有时候朋友载><
心里冷了下...
追女孩子，没车...还是比较难的了...
算了吧...Moody...

拭目以待...

接下来和你们分享一个我很喜欢的歌词

Haru-Haru [Big Bang]

Leave
Yeah,Finally I realize that I am nothing without you
Iwas so wrong, forgive me
My broken heart like a wave
My shaken heart like a wind

My heart vanished like smoke
It can't be removed like a tatoo
I sigh deeply as if a ground to cave in
Only dusts are piled up in my mind

Yeah, I thought I wouldn't be able to live even one day without you
But somehow I managed to live on longer than I thought
You don't answer anything as I cry out "I miss you"
I hope for a vain expectation but now it's useless

What is it about that person next to you,did he make you cry?
Dear can you even see me, did you forget completely?
I am worried, I feel anxiety because I can't get close nor try to talk to you
I spend long nights by my self, erasing my thoughts a thousand times

Don't look back and leave
Don't find me again and live on
Because I have no regrets from loving you, take only the good memories
I can bear it in some way
I can stand in some way
You should be happy if you are like this
I become dull day by day

Oh girl...I cry , cry
You're my all, say goodbye...

If we pass by each other on the street
Act like you didn't see me and go the way you were walking to
If you keep thinking about our past memories
I might go look for you secretly

Always be happy with him, so I won't ever get a different mind
Even smallest regret won't be left out ever
Please live well as if I should feel jelous

You should always be like that bright sky, like that white cloud
Yes, you should always smile like that as if nothing happened

I hope your heart fees relieved
Please forget about me and live on
Those tears will dry completely
As time passes by

It would've hurt less if we didn't meet at all
Hope you will bury our promise of being together forever baby
I pray for you...

Oh girl, I cry cry
You're my all, say goodbye, bye
Oh my love don't lie, lie
You're my heart, say goodbye...

Bye...







This pic take from my friend car when going hulu langat water flow...macam lalazai ><

这个照片在college拍得...人家说斯文= =

我正在研究的书~好看~迟点和你们分享~